Ambivalence

Christmas seems mostly about nostalgia and it’s the traditions that help keep the magic going.  I admit that my Christmas flame is flickering on low this year. Family illnesses and other struggles have kept spirits down. But we have snow, we have darkness and we have cold. All necessary ingredients to let Christmas lights shine. 

I visited a Christkindlmarkt here in Winnipeg last weekend. Our local market is nothing like the European open-air events. It’s simply too cold for outdoor kiosks. This indoor market is basically a craft fair dressed up in Christmas colours. I went to get some holiday necessities … spices to make Glühwein and candles for my Advent centre piece.

I’m sure I’ll perk up as the season progresses. After all, the joy and gratitude that my immigrant friends exude might be contagious. An Iraqi family (Christian Kurds) I hope to share time with spent four years in a Turkish refugee camp. Their young children remind me of how wonderful it is to be in Canada … while my Ukrainian friends show me that home and family, electricity and water, peace not war, must never be assumed. Life itself is a reason to celebrate. 

Here I am, ambivalent about Christmas and yet it is the season of peace and goodwill. How dare I take it for granted?  Perhaps the scent of the Christmas tree will revive me.  Time to go tree-hunting! 

Just jotting down these thoughts has put some of Dickens’ Tiny Tim attitude into my season. “God bless Us, Every One!”